Minnesota's Young Nonprofit Professionals Network has a great blog and they have a wonderful new post about asking for what you want. From Virginia Brown:
Getting what you want was the theme at this month’s packed Emerging Leaders Network lunch. A crowded room meant two things: 1) Lots of people aren’t sure how to ask for– and get–what they want, and 2) I had to sit on a counter because they were out of chairs.
Asking for what you want is tough. As was discussed by the attendees, most of us have never tried. And what are the factors stopping us? Mix fear of conflict, anxiety about the unknown consequences, difficult management, uncertainty about levels of haggling with a dash of Minnesota nice, and you’ve got a recipe for keeping your mouth shut for years. One attendee did it for 12 years. Yikes.
The advice shared in the room was insightful, yet not rocket science. And the reality is that I think most of us know what to do to ask for a raise, promotion, new office chair or pony. If you’re not, check out this great HBR blog or Christine Hassler’s article on the how-to’s. But really, you know what to do. You (me and everyone else we know) just don’t want to do those things. It’s partially fear, but also the ease of doing nothing and having something to complain about at happy hour on Friday. Doing nothing is always easier than doing something.
So I’ll start by sharing the main lesson I learned in business school:
IF YOU DON’T ASK FOR IT, YOU WON’T GET IT.
I just saved you two years of your life and $60,000. You’re welcome. Seriously, just do it. Work up the nerve, do the research you know how to do, and march into your supervisor’s office to ask for that thing you deserve. Don’t forget to already have a good relationship with said supervisor, have a proven track record of excellent work, and a solid, non-emotional rationale for why you should get that thing you want.
Read the rest here.
As the parent of two school-aged children, I get to see more than my fair share of children’s movies. My current favorite is “Horton Hears a Who.” Horton, the elephant, hears a small yell and realizes that an entire civilization of Whos lives on a speck of dust. He makes it his life’s purpose to protect this little planet from the other animals in the jungle that don’t believe anyone lives on the speck. In the story’s climax (SPOILER ALERT) evil Kangaroo threatens to boil the speck of dust in oil. To prove their existence, all of the Whos yell together, “We are here, we are here!” until they can be heard by all of the other animals and save their planet from certain destruction.
There are times in life where we are pretty fabulous at something. We train for a marathon, sew handmade clothes for our kids, or raise $1,000,000 for our nonprofit. We are running on all cylinders and it can start to feel effortless. Then habits change, some crisis comes up, or something else makes us lose our mojo.